Chuck E. Cheese scared me as a child, and yet I was morbidly fascinated with it. I was drawn to the clunky animatronic characters like a moth to flame. I was too terrified to speak, and yet was brimming with questions: What demonic spark lurked behind their darting eyes? Why would a place that served food choose to have a rat as a mascot? And so, when I found this 9-part documentary on YouTube, I got kind of obsessed.

The description reads:
Ever wanted to experience what is involved in restoring the only known, fully operational Pizza Time Theatre era animatronic Show? Well now you can without any of the hard work, expense, sore backs, or sweat!??

You probably have not wanted to experience this, and the closest thing to actually being there is watching all 9 videos in one sitting, which I do not recommend. I mean, I did, and but I bit off all my nails and then ate an entire bag of Haribo Smurfs and had bad dreams that night.

Part 1 : Preparing the Garage
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mvr2nyrVIEs&noredirect=1

The video, which was shot in 2007, falls somewhere in between a documentary and found footage. The sound quality is terrible and the camera, which I suspect is VHS, is shaky at best.

Three people appear in the film: The Captain, Menutia and Shiny Happy Jenn, although who these people are isn't ever explained, nor is the location of this garage. They also do not tell us where they got the Pizza Time Theater Equipment or where they've gained their vast knowledge of the Chuck E. Cheese universe.

The painstaking effort these three people put into restoring, repairing, and cleaning the robotic Chuck E. Cheese, Harmony Howlette, Jasper, Munch and Pasquale is apparent. What I find most fascinating, however, is that they never tell us why they are doing it, but repeatedly say it is important that they are doing it.

Part 2 : Preparing the Robotics and Cosmetics
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hZq7GrBeCA

During this section you get to see the Pizza Time Theater characters' Terminator-like exposed cyber skeleton.

Here we also get to see how the costumes are washed. I'm guessing Shiny Happy Jenn must have been a former employee of Chuck E. Cheese. She seems very keen on the minutia of the costumes, like which color vest Chuck wears which year, even hand washing the items in the sink. She refers to the Pasquale's shirt pattern as "famous," but famous to who?

You see a regular normal mammal dog in the background in the house in this portion. There's like a 90% chance that dog was eaten by the creatures in the garage.

Part 3: Installing and Repairing the Robotics
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YXS1RELjy8

All of the character movements are run off of huge computer that is the size of a teenager girl's dresser. As the trio works on repairing the robotics, they let the Chuck E. Cheese 1989 Christmas tape blare in the background. Meanwhile, the robots blink their eyes open and shut. We also get a mostly unintelligible lesson on the differences between the original Pizza Time cybernetic skeleton and a modern (2 years later) cybernetic skeleton.

Part 4 : Installing the Cosmetics
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkeaBgiEPUY

Now they're hooking up the lighting driver board and painting the eyeballs shiny new white. Jenn, The Captain and Menutia are extremely critical of whoever had owned the rig previously; they're flat-out disgusted when they discover mismatching eyelids were used on Harmony, with "20 pounds of glue" holding the eyelashes on, in the wrong place!

Then we see creatures come to life with fur bodies and naked metal faces.

Part 5: Testing the Robotics with a 1979 Show
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Txsf1HRT_ow

The trio runs 1979 "diagnostic" where characters move without music. The sound of the eyelids opening and closing is maddening. Once Jenn and company determine the robotics are acceptable, they run a "skit" from 1979, which includes singing, banter and jokes. Chuck's voice is reminiscent of Dustin Hoffman's Ratso Rizzo which makes me wonder if it's a rule that all rats must have a New York accent. It's probably a law or something. Part 6: Further Testing with 1979 Show Skits https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbX0kpMNB-o

These skits from 1979 were performed with an alternate cast of characters than the ones that appear here. Subtitles inform us that the old programming gives Chuck limited movement, so for much of it he just stands still. Who can blame him?

The camera turns back to reveal the creators watching the characters perform their demo. They smile, knowing their hard work is paying off. Now is time to sit back and relax and watch a rat, a dog, a bear (maybe?) in a wig, a purple monster and a human male with a shitty Italian accent singing country songs.

Part 7: Fine Tuning the Cyberamic System
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONYf4GiUL0w

I would not be able to sleep knowing that those things were in the garage. ?

Part 8: Harmony Howlette Rides Again
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3r-i4hwyuM

More full skits, this time from 1981. The sound seems to have gotten worse. One can only imagine how loud it must have been in that garage. It's also apparent that Chuck's attitude has decayed; he has a mean spirited sense of humor, calling the other characters "dummies" and "dimwits," his preternatural green eyes darting feverishly with each insult.

Here we learn that the "The Classic Era" of Pizza Time Theater is 1981 through 1983. "The creative peak of PTT was considered to be in those years." We also learn a little bit more about the big huge giant computer: each flashing light represents a single character movement signal, and the audio signals trigger the character movements.

Part 9: Restoration Complete With Stage Lighting/ Finale
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wt5xBvwCj8w

The last section is just the characters. No people. Just the Pizza Time Theater Show.

Watching all of them, it becomes mesmerizing.
Sound blown out. Light overexposed.
And yet, I can't stop watching.
I want to be there with you. I want to go back to 1981, to the Classic Era of Pizza Time Theater. When things were simple. When things made sense.

After the prerecorded applause, the system shuts off. The bodies droop and go still. Such is the life of an actor.