The Teenage Dreams Of Lauren Hamami (April 2017)
by Lauren Hamami

dreamt that i was in school and was being held captive there by doctors that wanted to use my mind/memories. i hid up in the ceiling and crawled out of the building through the rafters as angelica, tony’s girlfriend distracted the doctors. i escaped from the building through a door to the outside and landed up outside where a bunch of junkies were sifting through trash. they were looking through hundreds of thousands of pieces of plastic for a specific piece of plastic with a certain word printed on it that was supposedly worth a lot of money. they weren’t hard to find because they were different colors from the other pieces of trash. i kept walking and ended up climbing a wall in a giant tunnel. the next thing i know, zack and i were balancing on wires spanning the width of that giant tunnel that used to house train tracks. the wires that we were standing on were like 50 feet in the air and 3 feet apart from each other. we put our hands together to equalize our weights and we became effortlessly good at balancing there. pony bones and shane were doing the same balancing act to the right of me, shane on my wire and pony on zack’s. then i asked if zack if he had ever taken the leap of faith into the garbage below and he said no, but that he would if i did. so i counted to 3 and let go to fall, hoping he would too. i dont know if he fell with me or not, but i remember that i had this uncertain feeling that seemed so profound on its own; if you jump off enough piers or cliffs or rocks in your life then you've had moments where you and a friend agree that you'll only jump if and only if you jump together, but at some point along in life your friend doesn't jump with you and you only realize that once you're in the water and they aren't, and then you learn that trust is blind and sometimes you end up jumping alone.