Hello turd hunters and welcome to a fresh flock of Brown bears coming out of colon hibernation! We here at The Institute for Bowel Regularity invite you to take a quick survey that will help us improve our services: Did the BM come from a human, a half human half crab hybrid, a hard bound book originally published in the 1940s or an animal that you recognize but you can't really think of their name but you can clearly see that they have really wet fur and when you smell it it reminds you of the time you went to visit your aunt in Cocoa Beach, Florida and your cousin got really sick and puked up purple popsicles all over the damned place? Send your responses to: bowelregularity@gmail.com

Thank you in advance for your participation! We're also pleased to announce that the person who guesses the participant's turd identity with the highest degree of accuracy will receive a T shirt with their favorite BM on the front, with the Institute's now famous logo on the back. Can't wait to hear from you, turd birds!