Pony Payroll Bones Talkin bout Kitty Wells Cookbook Volume III
by Matthew PonY Bones Proctor

Well, believe it or not folks, Miss Kitty Wells, angelic honky tonk angel entity who

usta grace the Ryman Auditorium stage, published to tha very public Volume III of her

country cookbook series in 1994.

The book has a simple yet authoritative evocative title.  This diversified collection of foolish recipes goes by, KITTY WELLS:  COUNTRY COOKBOOK VOLUME III.

This book met mass produced ink birth way back in tha moldy, twangy glitz of the 1990’s.  I confess the year in question is...1994!  Exaction!

Apparently the recipes were procured from her “private collection.”  Just the appetizer chapter spans the spectral spectrums of Armadillo eggs, Fiddle Faddles, shrimp mold and not to forget those waikiki meatballs.

Let us not to forget to bless and honor Miss Kitty Kitty cuz she now watches over us here in this purgatorial piss and blood soaked honky tonk called Earth.  Miss Kitty Kitty truly is a real honky tonk angel since relinquishing the frail human form on July 16th, 2012.

Volume III in her series goes a step beyond food recipes.  There is a recipe for living a healthy wise life called imaginatively TAKE TIME.  She offers us a 10 step program guide to program your potentially wayward deviance prone sinful soul.  Yes there are many slow motion agonizing traps sprung by devil tricksters on any pilgrim’s lonesome danger fraught progress procession to attain the boarding pass to the divine heavenly KINGDOM OF HEAVEN.   Who are these tricksters you may wonder?  No on really knows cept thar on tha Holy Ghost Payroll.

Number 10 this ULTIMATE MORTAL LIFE GUIDE  states eloquently:  

“TAKE TIME TO PRAY:  It is the greatest power on earth.”

Funny thing though, Every time I pray that’s when the trouble really begins.  That’s when TROUBLE starts havin children all named TROUBLE.   I have tha sinkin feelin a ghost dog is pissin on my leg.

Number one on our ULTIMATE MORTAL LIFE GUIDE states with brutality:

“TAKE TIME TO THINK:  It is the source of power.”

Taken together this inspiring guidance offered is delightfully savory,  You even get an exquisite baroque like print block styling of an ink blot shaped like an apple.   Apple is a symbol of wisdom you know.  

And YES! brothers and SisTeRs, paRenTs, childrens, thieves, perverts, cops, pornographers, athletes never don’t don’t forget I REPEAT WITH SHAKY HANDS!...don’t forget the INFIRM FOR WE ARE ALL ON OUR WAY TO A PLACE CALLED ENFEEBLED.  That’s the bend in the haunted road called life where everyone must do their special magic disappearing act all lonesome alone.   Yes we must suffer throughout this earth that we are all just passing through.  You see Adam and Eve chose the act of suffrage and went to the black market pharmacy of knowledge.  They then robbed the pawnshop and shot the owner.  WATCH OUT!  WE are all gettin chased. The eternal Rabies afflicted MONGREL BITCH DOG called TIME is snapping  with drippy foam  battery idic saliva at our blistered heels!  You’re gonna eventually take a fall.  

That one finalistic fall!  Get all trip toppled over on the proverbial non existent invisibility shoe laces.