Somebody Spill Nightmare Juice on the Floppy Drive (December 2016)
Zack Kouns, Pony Bones, and Bryan Martin
PPB: Why won’t bear girl do something? Guacamole Toby? Tammy Temper Tantrum? The list of Kouns cuss ions is long. Those cousins.
BM: Disco Mule piss on the toilet. Them poetry Frisbees got stapled to a taco. Pretty sure Huck saw em. Boy Z pinch hittin for Data East.
ZK: Call me the flaming, flinging, fuming sun of Heliotrope but don’t call me late for a New Mexico Gordita punchwrap right in my kisser. The Barking Guzzler just posted in Turkey Tin Town and he is three sheets of metal to a boozy rotten lousy Lao Tse slump. Batter down, you two hush puppies, some of us are trying to wet our crystals in good old crybaby creek.
PPB: Hello country bumpkin. How’s tha vine on tha pumpkin? Call me tootheater. Just saw a ghost here in Takoma park an it was no Fahey.
BM: Smoking frost out of a pumpkiiiiin. Check underneath the church for foreskins.
PPB: I see what you’re saying but whars tha football dingos?
BM: Somebody spill nightmare juice on the floppy drive.
ZK: Look lick run Lyra, time to two step to Freddy Teddy Wetty’s wedding pronto.
BM: Who put the Bomp in tha Steve Corn Bompa domp. Takem out behind tha deep frier and crack that poison mist on em.
ZK: Do you think that lickin the crimson buckaroo might help when it comes to the Bone problems?
ZK: I was afraid and Thomas Kincaid you were gonna say that, Disney Princess.
BM: Leave me out of this, I was pretty plumb sure I was invisible
ZK: Pick a plum, you farmer you. Pick a pepper, pick a plumber, pick a pummeling pumice to pound Payroll Pony and punish Proctor.
BM: Luxury tacks. Goin ta Pete Guano’s---holler ifn y’all want anything. Sorry Zack---NO WATERMELON
PPB: Popeyes conquers tha world yu disputable pirates.
BM: Bluto booted tha spinach so now I’m a Crown Fried man.
ZK: I hated to do this but I had to kick you both out of Sweethaven cause look: somebody is sweating in your shirts and eating your teeth and you’re eating Cinnacum bracelets out of Hillary’s left hand or her best frand’s wounded war hero spinach spanwich Tallulah Bankhead babe.
BM: Wear em with me, them blue denim deals?
ZK: I will wear and I will war and I will whip and whoop, if I have to. But I will maroon you, you old macaroon you! My new job is to kick Martin out for a black bean boogie and a blue jean.