| ARCHIVES | ABOUT | FACEBOOK


Status Updates that I didn't post to www.facebook.com (July 2016)
by Zack Kouns



My former friend Maddie said that Nightmare isn’t real. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, that is getting my blood boiling because I KNOW NIGHTMARE IS VERY REAL

If Shane tries to stop me from sprinting, I’m going to take matters into my own hands. What time will you begin to run and scream tomorrow? I will race Shane around the block yelling at the top of my lungs.

Science should know better than to try and blow up cicadas with grenades that Japanese men shot at during WWII. I can’t believe cicada’s scientific name has been changed to “kratom bed”

Trophies are expensive. Then you have to get all that liquor to fill them.

Tick aspirates every time he drinks his precious black medicine. Let’s see how he likes it when he has to use Thick It at all times when he takes a slug.

Trick deserves desserts.

Going to a Dairy Bar with your family and then everyone eats their entire meal in the car.

Married Rick is suing your ass big time. And listening to the blues.

I remember cutting up together in that room and Blue Boy threatening to cut me up in that room. That guy was born on the wrong day. You know what, Robot? It’s really dumb of you to become Rickbocop and repeat all of me and Robby’s sayings just to be alive. As Rickbocop you need to go on a rampage so we can get more Twitter followers and also more tumblr followers.

Why’d you have to bring the Stardeaddy page back? The world has enough problems.

You know it’d be really interesting to do a musical about Paracelsus.

I’d like to be sitting on the front porch in a Kinkade masterpiece.

Both of us painted silver and crawling through orchards so we can understand organic life more perfectly. Smelling insects, licking roots.

I will never shave again now that I am Andi Mcdowell, a very funny Southern lady with good manners and optimism.

I just watched that video and I've got one thing to say about it: big deal.

Morgan did you decide to be a speech language pathologist because of Peter Gabriel's speech when he was inducted to the Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame.

Come down and watch some Disney flicks with me. What's your favorite? Mine's Pollyanna. Truthfully though, we'll probably watch Avatar. I've never seen it. Anybody have a review of Avatar?