Horrorscopes for March 2013
by Zack Kouns

Aries (March 21-April 19) - Abomination and frenzy. Two older ladies fighting in a basement. One of them is on top and slamming the other's head into the concrete.

Taurus (April 20-May 20) - There's glass and shards of moonlight inside your dying heart.

Gemini (May 21-June 21) - Wolves and birds of prey are tearing apart the body of someone you love. Thus we learn death's value.

Cancer (June 22-July 22) - Serpents and the eclipsed sun in your throat howling with pain.

Leo (July 23-August 22) - The muddy Jordan river is winding and flowing through your bedroom in the darkest night. Your girlfriend masturbates on the shore, calling your secret name tenderly.

Virgo (August 23-September 22) - The little girl your father drowned in a fit of mania is sleeping on your porch.

Libra (September 23-October 23) - Nature's shadow has swollen like a feverish animal and is choking all of God's children.

Scorpio (October 24-November 21) - What are the costs of generation and regeneration? I whip your genitals like unfavored children and they cry out in lonesome forests. Then I climb on top of you and you hold my genitals in your hand while I put my mouth on your mouth.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21) - Bird calls in vast,atomic hells and electrons that are two fingers above the anus and two fingers behind the genitals.

Capricorn (December 22-January 19) - Calling gods and devils from the river. Hollering.

Aquarius (January 20-February 18) - Israelite wandering forever in the desert. No water, no respite; the hunger of someone deserted.

Pisces (February 19-March 20) - I'm in the bathroom with a sweaty brunette. She's pressed against the wall and my mouth is on her breasts while my fingers are inside her inflamed, flabby genital organ.