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“Is This Some Sort Of A Scam?”

-an excerpt from a voicemail I received the other day

from Gus-

“From you, I get some kind of weird message, some writing on the wall, and you think scare tactics like that are gonna shake a guy like me? What are you trying to prove? You can’t shake a guy like me. I’m grounded, like a rock, and you can’t shake a rock. Anybody knows that. Ask anybody if they know that. Grab ‘em by the shoulders and SCREAM at them, ‘Do you know that?’ I dare you, Weaver, you dumb hick, you writer boy. I dare you to put down your pen and ink, step away from your hick school desk, and step right into my face and see what happens when you make that mistake. It won’t be a step forward, I assure you. And it’ll be more than two steps back. ‘Cause when you step into my face, you’ll be knocked back. Yea, hick boy, I’m grounded. And you know what grounds me? My blood - thick and red, a little whitish for no explicable reason - as thick as my skin, as thick as your skull. I live on a steady diet of discipline, momentum and principle. Hygiene and courage are my drink. I never shake my drink. I just pop the cap and, man, I go for it. I’ve been known to slam a few mugs of courage and start whipping my fists around the room, letting ‘em whoop asses and take ‘em down for certain. So, I guess I’d give up your little stupid hobby if I were you. I’d just go ahead and stop sending those little weird messages all the time. I don’t even know what you’re getting at with them. It’s anybody’s guess. Some sort of cryptograph or something. Brother, I don’t do puzzles. Don’t got the time. I work; I play; I don’t do drugs. I’m not some red-eyed day-tripper, getting high off of puzzles and what-ifs, philosophizing clouds and nonsense, and sleeping in. I fucking hate puzzles. What do I look like, the fucking NSA? C’mon, man, seriously, fucking knock it off. I’ve got a life to live. I’m just going about my business. Now go about yours. Do you know what I did? I called up the landlord about these little weird hick notes. I told him all about what you’ve been up to you. You know what he said? You know what his reply was? He said, ‘Hang in there, pal.’ What a tool. What the hell is that supposed to mean, ‘Hang in there, pal’? I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean. Do you know what that’s supposed to mean? Anybody got a clue? That guy is a moron, through and through. I live for the moment when I take him down. I live for the moment when I take you down. Just give me one good reason not to. If I only had the chance…

You’re sick, man, you know that? Stop sending me little weird messages all the time. What are you trying to do, scam me? Is this some sort of scam?”