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Top Ten Suicide Machines that High School age Bruce Springsteen Built Other than that One that He Sang About (May 2017)
by Devinn Brone



10. the electrical suicide machine that you plug your penis into and zaps ya dead
9. the one that Bruce's Mormon brother learned how to build on his mission in Uruguay but nobody figured out how to work
8. the beavis and butthead complete series but you try to eat it all in one bite
7. the FLYING motorcycle
6. the razorblade basketball
5. the electrical suicide machine that you plug your penis into and it vacuums your home and then shoots you in the back of the head
4. the one from M*A*S*H* that Alan Alda insisted on keeping in his hotel room throughout shooting that looks like a wobbly clarinet
4. mixing mashed up nerf darts into your food until you die of whatever that would kill you of
3. he invites David Blaine over and David Blaine just does everybody all at once with a folded up $20 bill
2. a flying lawnmower that you land on your own head
1. the walk into the ocean to step aside for our supercedents machine