Horrorscopes for November 2012
by Zack Kouns
Aries (March 21-April 19) - That's a dead child in your shuddering loins.
Taurus (April 20-May 20) - Salvation in the dark red tides of menstruation that you've been keeping in a bleached cow skull.
Gemini (May 21-June 21) - The waters of the river Euphrates swell with your stomach bile. The fertile valleys that you were are swallowed by deserts.
Cancer (June 22-July 22) - The silence of birds and insects. Watching a world end.
Leo (July 23-August 22) - That poor girl's body is out there in the stream. She followed a man out there and he killed her.
Virgo (August 23-September 22) - Bread and wine. Children of God. I've pulled every strand of your long, black hair out with my bare hands.
Libra (September 23-October 23) - You woke up in the grass and dirt this morning. Fallen gods were crouching above you.
Scorpio (October 24-November 21) - Your crotch is a muddy field after a storm. I've built my shelter there and have become man before the fall.
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21) - What will you do when your violence has left you? Go out there in Stapleton's wheat field, dig a hole where he fell and devour his heart that you've been keeping in a rusty gas tank.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19) - Man has come to tear the elastic walls of your pink anus. Worlds are dying there.
Aquarius (January 20-February 18) - Intestines are out there by the edge of the forest. Gather them, bring them to your lover. Lay in bed with her.
Pisces (February 19-March 20) - Banjo music in your bedroom last night. Her mouth on your genitals.