The Prophet and the King: Church Basketball Tidbits
by Smith Holbrook

***SOUND EFFECTS: A loose/aggressive pack of humans scuttle around readying themselves for some type of battle. Clinks of swords on armor. Somethin’ big is about to happen. A man fires up his fellow warriors by giving an incomprehensible yet powerfully effective speech about honor, perseverance, and courage. Then he starts them all in on a chant: “P-R-O-P HET! HET! HET! P-R-O-P FET! FET! FET! NOWWWWW PROPHETEERS!”

They all stampede off into the distance, towards Lord knows what. Fades to silence. Now we hear someone tapping his foot and snapping his fingers. He’s whistling the tune to the title theme to “Mr. Ed”. Whistling fades…now we hear a swirly wind shaking the leaves of a mighty oak. It’s kind of peaceful. I guess that’s why Smith likes it so much; he’s a pretty serene fella. Anyway, my name’s Sound Effects –it was a pleasure meeting you –but without further ado, here’s your class act Prophet reporter and my creator, the great Smith Holbrook!***

Oh, my loving and dear Propheteers, let’s rejoice! Smith Holbrook here, it’s Prophet Reporting, and isn’t it good to be alive?! Life is the greatest gift of all, and we must not forget that. Yes! God is good; he is a gracious God. The woes and burdens of this world will weigh heavy, but don’t be discouraged. In moving forward with an unbreakable faith, we find hope aplenty. Let us not wallow in the muck of past sins and misdeeds. If you have been wronged or not by someone, Prophet Nation, don’t oppress and nurture the hate. Resentments have a way of consuming us, and denial puts up a wall. Oh, dear Prophets, the devil delights in our suffering due to remorse and regret; he thrives on our misery. The prospect of revenge being a satisfying and worthwhile pursuit…I believe the Beast is behind this notion, cranking the gears, sneaking it into our lives through deception…anger, fear, hate -- he is welcoming them, tending to them ever so thoughtfully, diligently. And this we do not want. Not for ourselves, not for any others we know or will know in our lifetimes. We want God! With Him in our corner, we needn’t despair. He strengthens us. He is the light within us, the light everywhere, and oh how there is so much good His light reveals. It’s when these uncertain times are darkest that we must press on bravely and not waver. His light will guide us. We find in Chapter 6, verse 9 of Galations: “Let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap the harvest, if we do not give up.”

I truly hope that may have helped some of you listeners who may be dispirited in one manner or another, my family and friends. My family of friends, how I love you all and want peace for you. Well…alright! Let’s get into some basketball news, Prophet Faithful!!! I know you need a few updates, and I’ll provide a few; this is our third Wurtland/Flatwoods Prophet Podcast, so let’s lace up our kicks and ball!

***SOUND EFFECTS: The bell for a boxing match dings and a large crowd roars. Cuts to silence. 500 basketballs are simultaneously thrown from the stands onto an empty gymnasium floor, bouncing and colliding loudly. A hundred various birds are realeased, and they sing beautifully amidst the sound of basketballs dribbling to their resting places.***

It’s been a grueling summer of adjustments for our boys, but they are each thankful for so much. “Striver” Roark and the crew are doing just fine, thank you. He’s fulfilled a lifelong dream with his new earnings (22 million per season) and bought some condos in Florida for he and his wife. He told me through a text yesterday that, “We can go whenever we want, Smits! My mentor and life coaches Mugsy Bogues and John Stockton are bringing their families for Christmas. It’s right on the beach, it’ll take your breath away. You have to come down, Smits!”

He went on to excitedly text me how grateful he was about life in general, and filled me in on our boys’ progress: “We all still keep in touch, Smits. You never forget where ya came from when luck and preparation meet. That sure happened for all of us on the Northeastern Kentucky Church circuit. How are the games back home since we all left, did they fill the rosters?! Did you know Dikembe Mutombo and Shaquille O’Neal play Sega Genesis all the time together? Wow! I beat Lebron James at chess! A prophet took down the King, literally! Bahahahaaaa!”

“Striver” went on like this in our text convo nearly all night. It turned into a very personal journey type story for both of us, and we related our experiences. What a great guy Mr. Roark is, and Prophet Nation…with his numbers/defensive prowess he displayed in the few games he played…I wouldn’t be surprised if we don’t see him on a FILA commercial soon, making the all star team, and throwing Thanksgiving parties attended by every team owner, coach, and star in the NBA. Greg Popovich, coach for the Champion Spurs, is Strives biggest champion. They are best friends. Striver jokingly referred back to his one on one chess victory at the end of our insane text session. He said he’s going to have FILA print out a million t-shirts of his and Lebron’s picture that he took after the victory. The caption on the shirt will read: “A Prophet can Slay a King: PROPHET POWER”…haha, oh boy. And on the back of the shirt it say “NORTHEASTERN KENTUCKY CHURCH LEAGUE BASKETBALL 4 LIFE”. Striver concluded the conversation last night by saying he will self finance the t-shirts and other Prophet merchandise himself if need be. He’s sure proud of where he came from, and so am I. Kentucky forever, brothers. God Bless this Commonwealth.

HAHA! Well guys, I am cutting this podcast short for a variety of reasons. But get back with me next month for more incredible sound effects and exclusive Prophet tidbits! The season starts soon, so let’s get ready for Church Ballers hitting 3’s on the World’s best basketball heroes. Heck, our boys might just become our nation’s sports heroes. They sure are mine and everyone else’s in our neck of the woods. I love you all, God Bless, I’m Smith Holbrook (I think?) and it’s been PROPHET REPORTING. Love and Hope to you all, Prophet Nation.