Untitled Michael Keaton Project
by Tabitha Vidaurri
Last
November I was hanging out with my friends Adam and Suju, and we were
playing the "fold the paper" game, which is a form of
Exquisite Corpse. The first person writes a sentence and passes it
on, and the next person writes a sentence and then folds the paper so
that only the most recent addition is visible. You pass it around the
table a few times, and when you're done you have a hilarious story to
read aloud.
On
this snowy eve I decided to start my paper in screenplay form. I have
a degree in screenwriting after all, and am always ready to put my
incredibly useful and practical skills to work whenever I can. What
resulted is printed here below, authored by Adam, Suju and yours
truly.
FADE
IN: MICHAEL KEATON is doing cocaine off of a girl's butt.
GIRL
So,
where did you grow up?
BOY
Where didn't I
grow up?
MICHAEL
KEATON
When
I was in 'Batman Returns' all these kids died. I mean, it was an
accident of course, but it was pretty cool. I guess you had to be
there.
CHILD
GHOST
Baaaaatmaaaan
– your soul will be ours by the first dawn's light….
Oooooh
BATMAN
Oh
no you din't!
Enter
CHEVY CHASE. He is covered in cocaine and blood.
CHEVY
CHASE
Live
from New York it's Saturday Niiiiiiight!!!
DON
PARDO
And
your host, Smelly Pete!
SMELLY
PETE
DIEEEEEE!!!!!!!
THE
END
I'm
currently speaking with Dreamworks about getting this project
greenlit. We haven't officially gotten Michael Keaton on board yet,
but Chevy Chase and Don Pardo's hologram have already signed. We
haven't settled on a title yet, but I'm pretty sure we're going to
call it Boob College.
|
