Status Updates that I didn't post to www.facebook.com (October 2016)
by Zack Kouns

Owls love birth literature almost as much as I love foxy red heads in skin tight dresses. I wish owls wouldnít get in my undershorts, steal keys and become resonance emblems.

I was thinking about how much fun it would be to scream here in oh, letís say 45 minutes to an hour. Scratch that, Iím screaming my head off right now, could you tell Kevin Hall about it?

I was floored when you became Jake Headís dog right in front of my very eyes.

Does anybody else out there watch vids of animals screaming 7 or 8 times a day or am I a lonely boy?

I would love to play for 20 hours straight in a Kroger lobby strictly for their customerís enjoyment.

Thereís a video of me on Mr Cartoon being chased by Beeper.

I refuse to have an orgams on October 22nd. Thatís just how itís going to be.

Ashamed. Ashamed of your taste. Ashamed of your mouth. I've lived all licks and Hattie's in the field with her sun Ham trying to make a little grain parade. And you little fellas blew it. Blew out the crocus. Blew out the Pentecost. I've gathered the hay. I've gathered the evidence. You're going away for a long wrong time tick tockers.

I bit your lip. Blood poured forth. You bit my lip. Blood poured forth. We collected the blood and we drank it like thirsty animals wondering the wilderness for days. We were already everlasting but we just tasted of it.

Spit it out Summer. You're falling into Winter and I'd like to see you Spring into some kind of auroral light that shocks with it's simplicity and austerity. Do you know what I did to little Boy Blue when he fell asleep. I threw his shoes into the middle of the road and put everyone of his clothes on. I was trying to let him know that we were the same person. He discovered it the hard way. 8 the hard way. You're on my arm. 20 dollars down on the crap table. Dealer says "bets off" and two 4s roll down. We have a nice evening meal in the forest and give the rest to the worst; to the people this world destroys and who haven't learned how to be saved. That's how it happens. Humanhood.

Drive to Greensboro and collect the stigmatas in my hand. Then head this way. Histories of humans concealed in anthracitic wombs depend on it. I'll be inciting deep trauma here while I'm waiting; calling death from small rows of graves that are smelling of all worlds. Birds. Birds on your chest tearing your heart out so that you can love like an immortal loves. Birds. You don't know anyone you've ever met. They've all been a clever deception that you've created. Now they're gone and you know the ecstasy and euphoria of creation and know that you've known it all along.

The head honchos translating for Bug Bite & "having some fun" around the office.

Summer, Summer, Summer: didn't you know it's fair season, my fair hair scare dare? Leisure and leisure suits and drastic pursuits is what we here at Maniax Industries are all about. You and the king need to climb on into his chariot before you miss both the Wayne County Fair and the Scioto County Fair (next week.) Get a grip. It's time to boogie down that old dusty trail. Tomorrow's too late because there is no tomorrow, sorrowful sundrums.